Saudi Sexpat Stories: Tales from the Kingdom

Just when I learned that a couple of typhoons struck Manila lately, I didn’t imagine how I would also experience my own kind of typhoon and flooding right here in the desert…in the comforts of our very home! Impossible? Not quite! 

Still woozy from lack of sleep, I groggily went to our front-loading washing machine to do my weekly laundry. I was literally aghast when, upon opening the machine door to load the dirty clothes, a torrent of water came rushing towards me! OMG!!! (as in, Oh my GUSH talaga!).  For a moment there I was stunned, like the proverbial deer facing the headlights of an oncoming car, while the water just came spilling out of the machine into the tiled floors of our mini-laundry area, flowing into the small hallway leading out into our room and also into the entrance of our tv/multi-purpose room – c’mon, is this for real??? Can this be happening??? Somebody wake me from this nightmare please!  

Alas, despite all my wishful thinking, I realized that a domestic disaster had indeed struck and, being the wet sleep-deprived zombie I have become, I was admittedly ill-prepared to face this, shall I say, “waterloo”… ;)  

Slamming the @#?!? washing machine door shut and mustering all my courage and strength, I did what I had to – Operation Linis-Baha, Activate!  With my trusty Vileda mop and bucket in hand, I began my early morning workout trying to keep the water contained in one area by mopping and wringing out the water as fast as I can ( I had to finish the task before Marga woke up or else there was a danger of her slipping on the wet floors! ). 

Sad to say, even this wasn’t working as well as I had hoped since a pool of water was still there begging to be cleaned out… What more can I do??? 

Plan B necessitated that I grab something larger to absorb the water and then dry up the area… Hmmm…Since di naman pang professional ang mga cleaning utensils ko, I had to make do with the nearest alternatives -  one of the boys’ hooded swim towels to absorb the water and my dirty cotton nightdress to complete the job of drying up.  Necessity is the mother of invention nga naman – hahaha!

So there I was, like a crazed sirena, mopping, absorbing the water with the towel, drying up, throwing the collected water into the nearby bathroom drain… keeping at it for the next hour or so until my mission was accomplished.  In the end, I managed to drain five bucketfuls of water – imagine that!  

Of course, what’s a mission about unless there is a “project report” afterwards, right? So I immediately called my “boss” to report the successful completion of the operation.  What did he have to say? “Paki-check mo nga yung manual para malaman what went wrong at nagbaha…” 

Uh, I don’t think so, honey… just not right now.  After some major mopping-up operations, I neither have the energy nor the interest to read up on some owner’s manual… I am pooped and I just need to chillax… 

Ka-pagod maging Darna! 

PS  Guess who were there to lend me support as I was facing this crisis? Who else but “My Friends, Tigger and Pooh”! Hahaha! Promise this wasn’t intentional - only realized the funny irony of it all after the whole ordeal was over!

Wasn’t really planning on decorating our flat this season since all of us are coming home to Manila anyway for the holidays (not to mention holiday decors sold here are really few and far between).  Also, due to the ultra-conservative Moslem environment here, Christmas is NOT celebrated openly in the kingdom (definitely another odd, “only in Saudi Arabia” phenomenon, if you ask me!).  

I remember how starkly different it was for me last year when we first celebrated Christmas here - no carols over the airwaves, no spruced up homes and sparkly tivoli lights, no dawn masses, no bibingka and puto bumbong… Probably the only thing that reminded me of Christmas was the decidedly cooler December air (*sigh*). 

Anyway, guess there’s really no stopping the Christmas spirit this year since we unexpectedly (yet very pleasantly) received a handful of Christmas-sy presents from our Aramco-based friend, Raquel Casis (the first cousin of Luigi’s US-based ninong, Dr Mark, or “Doc Aga” as he prefers to be addressed – hohoho!*).

Raquel, thanks very, very much! J You truly made us feel that the yuletide season is still very much upon us even in this part of the world!  

So, in our mini-foyer, here’s what we set-up last night to spread some of that Christmas cheer around… 

I just feel it… Christmas is going to be special this year after all.

Isang makahulugan, taimtim at maligayang pasko sa ating lahat!

*para “in theme” with the season…

Been really lazy busy the past few days hence the blogging drought. 

Anyway, here’s what I’ve been up to. 

Thursday was Report Card day for the boys.  Happy to say that both have maintained their high averages – straight As for Rafa and it would’ve been the same for Luigi had it not been for Filipino (can you believe it?!?). Long story short, after speaking with the Global Languages teacher and the department head for Languages, we learned that the low marks in Filipino were apparently due to the “rough” transition which happened when the old teacher left and there was a gap wherein the kids did not have a Pinoy teacher at all! In fact, Luigi even told me that they even had a Pakistani substitute who proctored a long exam and, of course did not have the slightest idea what the test was all about! Siyempre, Keith and I had to bring this to their attention as it had an adverse effect on the kids’ marks which, sadly, already went to their permanent records.  We were assured that they will look into this “procedural oversight” (they better!) and ensure that it will not happen again (or else… ). 

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It was also last Thursday when the Magallaneses moved to their “posher” flat nearer to our place.  What a big difference do professional movers make (vs the “lipat-bahay” types the locals usually employ) – made a mental note of this as we never know when we may need to change flats too, right?  

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We almost finished off our Christmas list on Friday when we took advantage of the end-of-season sale at the nearby Dhahran Mall.  Unlike in the Philippines where “midnight madness” sales literally could drive you mad with the sorry display of merchandise and prices which are not really “sale-worthy”, I am pleased that when they say “sale” here, they really mean it! We got pretty good items which truly represented “value for money”… Guess Keith and I will “Ho, ho ho!” our way back home for Christmas pretty soon with our loot!

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Though we welcome the “chilly and nippy” season, most of us have to contend with the related “Saudi sniffles” too!  For us, it was Marga who felt it most as she has been having coughs and colds for the past 3 weeks now!   Worried that she may be getting worse, we consulted a doctor yesterday and she was prescribed antibiotics and cough and cold meds yet again… On the up side, at least she doesn’t have any fever, she remains active and continues to have a decent appetite.  

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Got a piece of wonderful news yesterday (which unfortunately I am still not at liberty to disclose).  Suffice it to say that it is definitely an answered prayer and makes a lot of difference to our family’s future… J Promise will let you in on the “juice” as soon as I can.   To celebrate, we ate dinner out at Chili’s and then had our usual ice cream desserts at McDonald’s.  Simple joys nga naman – hay!  

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Meanwhile, my (almost week-old) washed and dried colored clothes await folding while this week’s batch of washing are up next – waaahhh!  Need a major “Super Inday” moment just about now… 

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So how have you been doing lately?

I bet thoughts are now racing through your heads: What? When? Where? How?

This only happens everytime the boys have their annual Fall Festival in their school, International Schools Group, here in Dammam.  This is the second year that they were able to join in the festivities. :) 

Thank God for this as having this kinda makes up for the two halloweens they have missed since we relocated here…

This year, Luigi dressed up as a pirate captain (with a costume we thankfully brought with us from Manila during the first time we got here pa) while Rafa had to rely on our “collective creative juices” to come up with a decidedly western/outback outfit (the hat that came from “Outback Spectacular” during our last Gold Coast holiday certainly proved useful! ). Of course, no outfit would be complete without the necessary “make-up” so I had to again don my “face painter’s hat” to achieve the boys’ total look.

Here are some of their pictures (more can be found in our related Multiply site, Chinois Chitchat).  Enjoy!

PS This was how they looked the first time they joined last year…

O diba how my boys have matured since then?

With the rate we’re going, guess I better get started gearing up for next year at naubusan na kami ng costumes dito! Haaay…what else can they wear the next time?

I had yet another interesting, “uniquely-Saudi” experience yesterday.  Having decided to go to our local fish store shortly after lunch to get our weekly supply of seafood, Keith and I set out to Saudi Fisheries (this is a seafood shop pretty much like the Monterey-concept meat stores in the Philippines) with our usual “entourage” in tow (i.e., Luigi, Rafa and Marga).  Keith and I have yet to muster the “courage” to actually venture out to the “real” fish markets where, they say, the freshest catch from the Arabian Gulf and nearby seas are brought by local fishermen. 

Thinking that, as always, we would be avoiding the maddening rush of locals (being “nocturnal creatures”, typical Saudis tend to “get out of their hiding places” after the sun has set – we’re thinking that this is so as they are also accustomed to this to avoid the heat of the desert sun) which could be chaotic at times, we were confident that we would be done seafood shopping in no time.   

Imagine our surprise, therefore, when we reached the store and found it teeming with locals at 2 in the afternoon! What was more unusual was that the customers were all male! Can you believe that??? In fact, I (apart from Marga and another little girl) was the only adult female among the customers!  Added to this, these men weren’t merely mouthing out orders from a pre-prepared list from their wives, they were actually choosing the seafood themselves and even specifying which cut they liked – na-“major paradigm shift” na naman tuloy ako!  Some of them even went the extra step of having their orders cooked for take-away (since this shop also had cooking services where customers are given the choice to have their seafood fried or cooked “Biryani-style”), possibly for late lunch or early dinner. 

Back home, this would have been unthinkable as a typical market scene would involve mostly women with their husbands assuming the roles of “drivers” and “tagabitbit ng pinamili” (at best).   

Hmmm…seems like Keith has something good to learn from his Saudi counterparts after all! Halata bang wishful thinking na ako masyado? Hahaha!  

(Before I hear a “violent reaction” from dear hubby, let me say that, in fairness to him, he has been doing more than his fair share of the “dreaded Cs”.  In fact, over the weekend, he was able to grudgingly complete house cleaning and even brought the car to the gas station for a long-overdue carwash.  Added to this, he has even managed to baby-sit so that I could also do my share of the Cs! Ain’t he wonderful? Thanks, Hon! You’re the best!  Mwah!  ) 

A BIT OF ADDED TRIVIA:  

#1: In this part of the world, males are also the ones selling ladies’ cosmetics and “intimate apparel”! I seriously had the shock of my life the first time I witnessed this for myself (sabay hoard ng cosmetics at undies during our last home leave! Hahaha!).

 #2: You can very rarely find a ladies’ changing room in most clothing stores – seems like women are expected to know their sizes when buying stuff for themselves.  If the merchandise doesn’t fit well, they have to make the extra trip to exchange it – iba talaga dito! The last time I wanted to fit some clothes in an outlet store, I was so surprised to have been led to their “changing room” which, to my horror, turned out to be a female prayer area! Siyempre, di na ako nagsukat ng damit…mahirap na…baka di lang damit ang mapalitan sa akin at pati relihiyon na rin!  I think I’ll pass…

Just wanted to share that we were finally confirmed for a booking in El Nido to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in December - woohoo! God is good!

The past few weeks have presented lessons in patience and faith for me.  There were several instances which I thought were total disappointments and yet, somehow, I am always pleasantly surprised at how they manage to turn out well.  Seems like the “guy upstairs” wants me to roll with the punches, instead of being knocked down out by them, as He will certainly always be there to guide me through. He seems to be reminding me what I often forget: that He is faithful to His promises and that all things turn out for good for all who trust in Him.

Turns out my luck wasn’t so tough after all!

Before you think this is some crash course in Arabic, let me assure you it is not the case.  It’s just our 17-month old “DQ (Drama Queen) - Heir Apparent” Marga talking.

Since it’s been 6 years since I had a toddler, being with one once more just amazes me all over again! Marga has certainly grown into a little spitfire, filling our tiny home with the hurried pitter-patter of her feet as she darts from one room to another, always on the look-out for things to discover and explore.

What I find endearing even more is how she has learned to express herself more clearly through words.  A typical day with her starts off like this:

Marga (barely awake): “Ma, mimi!” (Ma, I want milk!)

Me (gives her milk): “Okay.”

Marga (after finishing her milk, becomes more awake): “Mamee, beebee pis!” (Mommy, tv please!) For the life of me, I do not know why she is the only child who calls me “Mommy” when her two kuyas call me “Mama” (certainly she is showing tell-tale signs of being very independent-minded!).

She says this while pointing at the tv in our room.  If I fail to turn it on in time, she convinces me by adding…

Marga (still pointing at tv): “Icky…Pooh!” (Mickey…Pooh)

Of course, I willingly oblige… Most of you may be thinking how it’s not good to expose kids to too much television early on as it affects their comprehension, makes them less active, yada-yada-yada! But what am I to do?  With the “Big Cs” looming above my head, all I can say is: Thank God for the Disney Playhouse channel!

With Mickey and Friends, Tigger, Pooh, Jojo, Pocoyo , Handy Manny and the Little Einsteins (did I miss anyone out?) keeping her entertained, I am left with just a few minutes more to squeeze in all the other things I need to do around the house.  

Disney is certainly my lifesaver…until the time Marga gets bored, walks into the kitchen, pulls on my shorts (yes, she knows how to get my attention!) or grabs my free hand while I’m cooking away and says, “Ma, Ma, keyi, keyi!” (Ma, Ma, carry, carry!).

How can I refuse, right? Especially when the request is coupled with a face like this…

Challenging? Yes. But would I trade it in for my past life in the corporate banking rat race? Never!

After all, what could be more rewarding than having a little girl come up to you at the end of a long tiring day and say, while making what seems to be a cross your forehead with her tiny hands, “Ma, O-du!” (Ma, bless you!)?

God bless you too, Marga.  Labu! (Love you!)

This post was originally sent to me as an email by our co-”bagong bayani” and my university batchmate, Noriel.  It is quite lengthy but I guarantee you that reading through it till the end is totally worth it.  I have typed the phrases that struck me most in boldface…

It is the commencement speech given by Pulitzer Prize winner Anna Quindlen at Villanova University. 

Here goes, read it and totally be inspired to get a life!

I’m a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know.

Don’t ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree; there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account but your soul. People don’t talk about the soul very much anymore.

It’s so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is cold comfort on a winter night, or when you’re sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you’ve gotten back the test results and they’re not so good.

Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my profession stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the center of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make my marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends, and they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cutout. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, or at best mediocre at my job, if those other things were not true. You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are. So here’s what I wanted to tell you today:

Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay-check, the larger house. Do you think you’d care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast? Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over Seaside Heights , a life in which you stop and watch how a red tailed hawk circles over the water or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and first finger. Get a life in which you are not alone. Find people you love, and who love you.

And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beers and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister.

 All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough. It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the color of our kids’ eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live. I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby’s ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived.

To borrow my good friend Peachy’s “Thankful Thursday” trademark, and since it’s the beginning of yet another month, I found it apt to list the things I am thankful for today…

I give thanks…

• that I have gotten over my “nasty mood” yesterday

• that fall has at last come to this part of the world - just felt the first nip of the autumn air when I got out of the house earlier.  It is indeed a welcome respite from the usual desert heat!

• for my considerable recovery from a very bothersome bout with sinusitis

• that Marga has also gotten better from her colds and cough

• that we have discovered new shopping places here in the kingdom courtesy of our cousins, Rinel and Ge (where will we ever find good stuff at neat prices without you guys? :D)

• that we are slowly completing our Christmas list in time for our home leave in December

If I may just add, I discovered too that my stuffy nose cleared up everytime I was out shopping! Hmmm… mas effective pala ang “retail therapy” kesa sa Neozep, Salinase at Drixine - I swear! Am just not sure if dear hubby will agree - hahaha!

Seriously though, I believe a grateful heart always beats the “curve balls” life sometimes throws our way!

Here’s to a great November and a spectacular yuletide season ahead!